Recently, we had a difference of opinion here at my house. It doesn't happen often, this difference of opinion, but the stakes are pretty high on this one.
Here are my opinions: if you have Stage III breast cancer, you get a double mastectomy, period. No mere lumpectomy, no taking off just one side - you get rid of it all. Then, after treatment is done, you get reconstructed. You get reconstructed because breasts define a woman. Not entirely of course, but all us women have breasts. They might be small, they might be large; you may hide them or you may show them off, but they're there. How many times have you wondered "Man or Woman?" and checked for bumps on the chest? Well, I have, anyway. The point is that all women have that curve and I want mine back.
The Wonderful One's opinion was this: I went through a lot and now I'm returning to health. Why put myself through another surgery? Another long recovery? Because breast reconstruction after mastectomy is no small operation. It takes a few hours; there's general anesthesia. They insert an expander under the pectoralis muscle, then 'fill in' over the rest of the implant with 'biologic tissue' (sterilized cadaver tissue) since you can't place the implant directly under the skin. (When you have a breast enhancement, the implant goes under your existing breast tissue but I don't have any breast tissue left to slip it under.) Then, months later, the expander comes out and the implant goes in - another big surgery. The W.O. works in a hospital and sees all the worst case scenarios. Infections, strokes on the table, etc. He doesn't want me to be vulnerable to any of that.
Another good point from the Wonderful One was: Why not be the woman who dares to go without any breasts at all? I'm a survivor; a cancer warrior. I went through some horrible stuff. Show the world that it's OK to live with what you have left. He thinks I'm beautiful, with or without breasts. OK, I'm crying now but.... I just want to feel normal again. I'm neither brave enough nor strong enough to be the one who looks so darn different. I am not only flat-chested, I'm concave! No nipples, no nothing. Ugh! I feel like a freak.
Here's an analogy: Imagine that you had a tumor on your nose. A great, big, malignant tumor. The best way to save you was to cut off your nose, all of it. No nostrils, just two holes above your mouth. So, OK, your life is saved. That's good. But, there's a surgery available to you that's not without risks but it would give you a pretty good facsimile of a nose. Your face would look normal again. Would you take the surgical risk? Maybe the surgery could fail and the nose would fall off and have to be sewn back on again. Would you do it it anyway? Or spend the rest of your life looking like Voldemort?
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So, I went with my gut and I will be reconstructed beginning on September 30th. The Wonderful One has stopped all negativity and is, of course, behind me 100 percent!
Here are my opinions: if you have Stage III breast cancer, you get a double mastectomy, period. No mere lumpectomy, no taking off just one side - you get rid of it all. Then, after treatment is done, you get reconstructed. You get reconstructed because breasts define a woman. Not entirely of course, but all us women have breasts. They might be small, they might be large; you may hide them or you may show them off, but they're there. How many times have you wondered "Man or Woman?" and checked for bumps on the chest? Well, I have, anyway. The point is that all women have that curve and I want mine back.
The Wonderful One's opinion was this: I went through a lot and now I'm returning to health. Why put myself through another surgery? Another long recovery? Because breast reconstruction after mastectomy is no small operation. It takes a few hours; there's general anesthesia. They insert an expander under the pectoralis muscle, then 'fill in' over the rest of the implant with 'biologic tissue' (sterilized cadaver tissue) since you can't place the implant directly under the skin. (When you have a breast enhancement, the implant goes under your existing breast tissue but I don't have any breast tissue left to slip it under.) Then, months later, the expander comes out and the implant goes in - another big surgery. The W.O. works in a hospital and sees all the worst case scenarios. Infections, strokes on the table, etc. He doesn't want me to be vulnerable to any of that.
Another good point from the Wonderful One was: Why not be the woman who dares to go without any breasts at all? I'm a survivor; a cancer warrior. I went through some horrible stuff. Show the world that it's OK to live with what you have left. He thinks I'm beautiful, with or without breasts. OK, I'm crying now but.... I just want to feel normal again. I'm neither brave enough nor strong enough to be the one who looks so darn different. I am not only flat-chested, I'm concave! No nipples, no nothing. Ugh! I feel like a freak.
Here's an analogy: Imagine that you had a tumor on your nose. A great, big, malignant tumor. The best way to save you was to cut off your nose, all of it. No nostrils, just two holes above your mouth. So, OK, your life is saved. That's good. But, there's a surgery available to you that's not without risks but it would give you a pretty good facsimile of a nose. Your face would look normal again. Would you take the surgical risk? Maybe the surgery could fail and the nose would fall off and have to be sewn back on again. Would you do it it anyway? Or spend the rest of your life looking like Voldemort?
