Hair!

Shaved my legs today for the first time since December 2009! I also have eyebrows and eyelashes again. The hair on my head has almost grown in enough to look like a hairstyle, although nobody outside the military has a hairstyle like it. I'm starting to look normal again. But, as David reminded me the other day, I'll get less sympathy with hair than when I was bald. That's OK, I glad to be getting normal again.

Some Good News For A Change

First of all, I am recovering really well from the double mastectomy I had on July 7! I went on a mountain bike ride in the woods yesterday. 'Nuff said.

Also - and this is really good - my surgeon said that, because I had such a positive response to chemotherapy, that my prognosis (my long-term survival) is getting better and better!

Last, but not least, I was told yesterday that I am an inspiration! My friend K. and I were talking on the phone. She told me that women are universally afraid of getting breast cancer. That, I knew. But she said that I am getting through all the treatment and misery in such a fine way, that she is now not quite so much afraid of it. Breast cancer is not so scary. Wow, that is so significant, so meaningful to me. Almost makes getting breast cancer worthwhile...

Blow Out, but with a happy ending!

I think I inadvertently awakened a demon. Nah, that's not true - I am, in fact, an Oxycodone addict! Well, OK, that's not it either! But, it certainly has been a wild ride around here over the past 4 days or so. Here's what happened. I was taking Percocet (Oxycodone plus Tylenol) for pain after my double mastectomy on July 7. Highly necessary to have good pain relief after that! I was also doing my physical therapy exercises, natch, and they hurt. So, for a couple of weeks I was taking Oxy round the clock, albeit a small dose. Then, about a week and a half ago, I decided that I didn't really need it anymore. Interestingly, the only pain I was having at that point was related to being stiff after being in one position for awhile. David says the stiffness is related to the adhesions that can form around a surgery site. Anyhoo, a little movement and the stiffness goes away. Voila! Not wanting to put any more chemicals in my body than necessary, I stopped taking Oxy. This past Thursday, I noticed that, emotionally, I had been feeling worse and worse even though I was feeling better physically. By Friday evening, I was in a full-blown depression. Yuck! Complete with extreme anxiety and sleeplessness. I was crying just about unendingly and scaring the heck out of everyone around me - and especially scaring myself! I had not felt this bad for 16 years, not since I was finally treated for my long-time depression. Hence the "awakening a demon" comment. It's kind of funny that not too long ago, I had mentioned that past depression in this very blog. Did speaking (writing) it's name make it come back? Well, no. Since my psychiatrist is the keeper of my equilibrium, so to speak, I dialed her up. Sure enough, it turns out that a small percentage of people need to taper carefully when stopping Oxy. Not one of my other docs told me this. Stopping sort-of quickly can cause the miserable trifecta of depression, anxiety and insomnia. She advised me to take an Oxy pill immediately and see her the next morning where she gave me a schedule for tapering. off. Within an hour or two, I felt better. So much better! I feel normal again. Not that I won't have times of sadness - not that I won't cry. I do, in fact, have some mighty things to cry about. But, I am back on the track of standard emotions which, for me, is a wonderful place to be!