Jul 3, 2010

Flatland

The days are dwindling down to a precious few before Wednesday - surgery day. I have this feeling that, no matter how much I think about it, I'm not going to really know in advance what my reaction will be to having no breasts. I'm not afraid of the surgery itself. I'm sure I'll wake up and be OK and I'll recover just fine. And I have so much wonderful support in my family and friends. Nobody can prepare me, though, for having a flat chest. No breast tissue, no nipples, no nothing except a flap of skin that we might use later for reconstruction. Ugh! Our image of the female body always includes a bust of one kind or another. I might feel less than female. But I also might feel just fine about it. Especially after the shock of seeing my new chest for the first time wears off. I also have a fantastic husband. I am extremely luck to have David. He's already told me that it won't make any difference to him as long as I'm alive and healthy. That's really the whole point, isn't it?

Bike Ride

We rode our mountain bikes deep into the woods to a secret spot where the raspberries grow. The bushes covered the sunny hillside and were heavy with fruit. We dropped our bikes to the ground and began picking and eating. The berries were sweet and tart at the same time. They were warm in the sun and you could taste sunshine and rain and the earth. We ate in silence with only the sound of birdsong and the breeze moving the trees. Wash the berries first, you might say? Well, no, this is a most organic and natural berry patch. Nothing to wash off. It sure was lovely and a great memory to savor when I'm recovering from surgery...
The post below was in Draft status. It's one month later and these side effects have pretty much all gone away - except for my face hair. For some reason, I kept losing eyelashes and eyebrows. Now, I have NO eyelashes, NO eyebrows, NO nose hair (TMI!). Oh well, it's good to have my energy back!

OK, here's my end-of-chemo inventory. After five months of chemotherapy,

Jun 29, 2010

Lashes

I saw in the mirror today that I have one eyelash left! One stubborn, determined eyelash on my right eye, upper lid. I seem to have continued losing eyelashes and eyebrows even after chemo stopped. I guess it takes a while for some of my components to get the message that the assault has ended. Oh, well, I feel much better and that's what counts.

I met my new, temporary favorite person last night. David and I were at the mall.