Meltdown #1

I totally lost it tonight! Even though David and I were both off today and we took a beautiful walk in the woods, by 7:30pm I had had it. I found out this morning a couple more pathology results from the biopsy I had a couple of weeks ago. Turns out, I qualify for a Trial - a study done by cancer researchers. This is not so good! Also, my Chemo Orientation class was tonight from 5 to 6:30. LOTS of really scary stuff (although the staff of the Cancer Center are wonderful). Confirmed my worst fears about what the chemo will be like. Even after all this, I was still holding my own. Still cheerful and determined to do the battle of my life. I still felt like a lioness! After this, David and I tried to pick up N___'s prescriptions at the pharmacy. Then followed a series of roadblocks and frustrations, the upshot of which was that, after ONE MONTH of efforts to make sure N___ (our foster child and a wonderful distraction from all the cancer doom and gloom) could continue his very important medications, we were back at square one! Not only were the prescriptions we were given invalid, but N___'s insurance cards were no good! Well, here's where I lost it. I called the poor unfortunate (useless!) social worker and essentially ripped her a new one (Pardon the crudity). I was screaming and sobbing into the phone about chemo treatments and how I had no more capacity to chase down the solution to this problem because I WAS GOING TO BE A LITTLE BUSY THROWING UP THIS WEEKEND!! Well, as it turns out, this was precisely the method necessary to get this woman to go into action and help us with a problem that she had a large role in creating. She agreed to take over all the necessary phone calls and road trips to fix it. Note to self: Next time I need something from the DSS, make a complete idiot of yourself in the middle of the CVS! Worked great!