Laundry List

Sometimes, people ask me what it's like to be on chemo; specifically Taxol and Herceptin. So, here are a few things that happen:

+ I eat like there's no tomorrow; I eat anything and everything. My appetite is unquenchable. I eat like Kirstie Alley when her show's been cancelled. I'd better stop soon because, before you can say Kobayahsi Maru, I'll be as big as Kirstie (she of the beautiful eyes and lush hair). This is different than being on Adriamycin and Cytoxan which pretty much destroys the pleasure of eating for 5-6 days after a treatment, mostly by making digestion a scary prospect.

+ Can't taste food in the same way. I can't tell if somethings too salty or too sweet. Feels like my tongue is wrapped in a layer of gauze. Fortunately, this doesn't interfere with talking but might have something to do with why I want to eat so much. I just might be trying to get more joy from food than my tongue will allow.

+ My feet and hands are tingly and a bit numb. I drop things a lot. Can't open packages - that sort of thing. I have to be careful about my feet, so they don't get injured. I might not feel it and, with healing taking longer, could be in for trouble.

+ Some balance issues. Have to hold the handrail on the stairs.

+ I'm not only STILL BALD but am losing my eyelashes and eyebrows. On the plus side, I haven't had to shave my legs since before Christmas! Ha!

+ They call it 'chemo brain'. I'm not as quick on the uptake as I used to be. Can't remember names, forget what I wanted to say, walk into a room and forget why I went in, etc. I have to admit to having some of this before any chemo, but now it's more noticable. I also tend to be more irritable although I might not be able to blame this on the chemo as much as the fact that I have cancer and I'm pissed!

+ Fatigue. It's a problem. I try to push past it as much as I can. I do acknowledge that resting is now one of my most important pastimes, but I'm losing every bit of conditioning that I'd had. Sometimes, the fatigue seems to inhabit my joints and muscles and I grunt and groan when I push up off the couch. Seems like walking out to the car is way too much trouble. But, there are bad days and not-so-bad-days.

+ Dental problems. As referred to in an earlier post, I've already cracked two teeth. I understand that these tooth problems can continue after the chemo's over. Yikes! I've had some mouth sores, too.

+ Gas. Really bad gas. About 1/2 hour after a meal, I need to remove myself from human company for a few minutes. The poor cats; I don't extend this courtesy to them. It's not like I can just wait a while till the coast is clear. It's too painful. Oh, no! I sound like an old bachelor now, talking about my farts! Eeew...

+ Near zero exercise tolerance. You can build yourself up for a few days but then you crash right back down for one reason or another soon thereafter. It's very hard to get past the point where my heart starts racing when I walk fast.

+ Colds last a long time and cuts take forever to heal. Kind of expected with my immune system under attack.

There are probably more things that should be on this list, but with chemo brain, I can't remember them right now. There are other things going on, like depression, that aren't directly caused by chemo. I also take Prilosec every day now. If I didn't, I would be having killer heartburn. But, overall, Taxol is a lot kinder than Adriamycin and Cytoxan were. Those two were horrible! I'm so glad they are far behind me now. The other women in my Breast Cancer support group say it's like childbirth - horrible when you're going through it but you forget how bad it was.

The good news is that, almost without exception, all of these side effects are temporary. I'll be bouncing back strong this Fall, when everything's over. Count on it!