Nancy

Thank God for chemo drugs. Thank God for Adriamycin and Cytogen and Taxol. Thank God for Herceptin. Thank God for all the crazy drugs they give you to combat side effects like Emend and Decadron - they each have their own side effects!
Breast cancer doesn't hurt. There is no pain to wish gone, no injury to hope to recover from. No anticipated surgery that will fix everything and make you whole again. Breast cancer patients are already whole, for the most part. So, to make yourself sick and expose your body to poisons and debilitation seems so wrong! But, to live, treatment is the only choice. So, thank God for the drugs, every damn one of them. Working in healthcare, it's so easy to be a bit cynical about drug companies but thank God for them, too. And thank God for all the researchers and doctors and medical professionals and hospitals and universites who spent so much effort and time in developing and testing the drugs. Thank God for every last participant in every damn Race for the Cure that ever was! And thank God for Susan Komen, who died after her battle with breast cancer 30 years ago. Last but never least, thank God for Susan's wonderful sister who started the worldwide breast cancer awareness movement in memory of Susan. Susan's sister's name? NANCY - just like my wonderful sis!  But my Nancy won't lose me because of everthing that's been done in the last 30 years. Thank God!

5 Days Post 5 Days Post

It's been five days since the first chemo treatment. I feel better - almost normal! Just a little reflux easily controlled with good ole Tums. And, I really have a new appreciation for good ole ginger ale. I feel like I'm still into the process of facing so many treatments. Every other week til March, then every week until May!! Boy, I must have it really bad. Don't think Cheryl Crow and Christina Appelgate had so many treatments. Lucky me. But, with help and strength, I'll do it! And come out at the other end healthy and whole again.

Tried on a wig the other day. I can't really get too excited about the wig. It's beautiful and kind of light auburn and a little longer than my current short haircut. Here's the plus - I can wash it in the sink, shake it out, let it dry and plop it on my head. I think, when all the treatment is done and my own hair grows back, I'll put it (the wig!) through the shredder! BWA - HA- HA

Not So Bad

Got the first chemo last Friday. Everything is not so bad. Does chemo make you depressed? Don't know. It is like a lightbulb switched off, though. I feel kind of down. Of course, considering the circumstances, well, duh! Physically, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I had a little nausea over the weekend, but those drugs they give you for it are REALLY good! Mostly, I'm tired. They said I might have trouble sleeping from  the steroids they need to pre-treat you with but I've been sleeping 10+ hours per night so I guess they won't be a problem. It seems like I will be getting treated for such a very long time! I'm such a weenie about feeling bad. Hope the blog dosen't turn into a whine-fest...